Something to Say About a Death of a Family Member

Last updated 29^th March 2021

6 min read

When someone dies information technology's never easy to know what to say to those left behind.

You desire to admit the loss and let your friend or family member know you're thinking of them, but how practise you know what to say?

In that location are means show your love and back up, and to ease them through the conversation – besides as a few phrases to avoid.

If you lot're starting to recollect about your own funeral, read more than virtually funeral plans hither.

Ways to express sympathy and condolences

What do you say when someone has lost a loved one? Should I share my favourites memories or volition that be sad to hear? Will you make them more upset? Am I being sensitive plenty?

If you're worried nigh finding the right words, we've put together a list of comforting things y'all could say to evidence your love and support.

The best things to say when someone dies

• I'm so deplorable for your loss
• You are in our thoughts and prayers
• They will exist so missed
• I'1000 very sorry to hear this tragic news
• I'm shocked and saddened by this devastating news
• I tin't imagine how you must feel correct now
• If you desire to talk, I'thou here at any time
• I'grand thinking of yous in this heart-breaking time
• She/he was a wonderful person, I'thousand so sorry they're gone

There are things that you lot can say or do that tin can be supportive or begin to open upward the chat. These 'Dos' and other words of condolement might offering some help.

DO: offering your time

"I'm here for yous"

Your friend or family member might not want, or even need, your help initially, only you can be sure they'll appreciate your time a little later on.

Just knowing there'south a supportive face to open up up to tin offer great comfort, while giving the person space and letting them mourn at their own pace.

"I'chiliad if you'd like a chat"

Let people know when you're costless for a chat. It's important that they know you're here for them. They'll capeesh any time you can spare to help them through the hard time.

"Is in that location anything I can help you with?"

It might be a small gesture, but practical support is just as meaningful every bit emotional support.

Subsequently a death, there are many things that need to be dealt with, and helping with everyday tasks can make the difference.

Even if information technology's just offering to brand a meal or helping with the housework.

Practice: Continue it focused on them

"How are y'all doing?"

Request open questions gives the bereaved a adventure to open up and talk about how they're actually feeling.

Offering a supportive ear and listen to what they accept to say.

"I don't know what to say"

Sometimes, at that place are no 'correct' words and that'south fine. Simply information technology'due south of import to keep talking – near anything.

This way you're keeping lines of communication open. Information technology shows you lot're at that place and you lot intendance, which is what they need most. They may non be ready to talk about the person who died, so this leaves the determination with them.

What to write to testify you care

Yous don't always need to take a telephone call to let someone know you're thinking of them.

If you're non able to speak, instead send a sympathy card or letter, an email, or a quick text.

Sending a carte when someone dies is a simple offering of sympathy, merely it lets them know you're in that location if they need to talk. If you lot need aid, read our what to write in sympathy letters commodity.

Even if you don't go a respond, they volition capeesh the thought.

What else to consider when talking to someone who is grieving

In expressing sympathy, you're offering compassion and business organization for the grieving person, so make their feelings your main priority.

If you lot're really struggling, information technology might be helpful to know the sort of thing yous should be avoiding.

What not to say

While we might not mean any impairment, there are things that can be less than helpful to a grieving person. Here some phrases to avoid:

• They're in a better place
• Stay potent
• At least they're no longer suffering
• You'll move on in time

These may seem like innocent phrases, only they can exist quite harmful and dismiss someone's pain.

Don't: try to set up or speed upward someone'south grief

"There is a reason for everything"

When consoling a grieving friend, don't feel as though information technology's your job to justify or rationalise the death for them. Simply be in that location and mind.

"At least they lived a long life"

No affair the historic period of the deceased, the death of a family unit member or friend is unimaginably painful.

Don't: focus on yourself

"I know merely how you lot feel"

Even if you accept lost someone yourself, and you desire to bear witness you understand their feelings, it won't offer any comfort to someone who'due south grieving.

We all cope with loss differently, and yous tin can never fully understand how someone else is feeling, so information technology's best to avert comparing the situations.

"Are you feeling amend yet?"

These simple words volition hurt your friend more than you recollect.

It may accept people months or years to grieve and for some people it will never feel better.

While we want our loved ones' pain to ease as quickly as possible, information technology'southward all-time non to presume or put a timer on other people's emotions.

Don't: Keep tranquility

Sometimes keeping repose can exist even worse than proverb the incorrect thing.

It's hard to know what to say but if you don't say annihilation at all, information technology tin feel to the bereaved as though they're being ignored when they demand you lot near.

Consider what you're maxim to someone, and at the very least let them know you're there to talk.

Useful contacts

Decease and grief are never easy to talk about, and oftentimes people are unsure what to do.

It'southward a difficult subject field and people handle it differently, then you might be more comfortable discussing loss anonymously with someone who knows but the right things to say.

The Cruse charity offers a wide range of back up, with a free helpline, whether you're the bereaved or trying to help a friend through a tough menstruation.

Similarly, Dying Matters have plenty of free resources available to assistance you talk more than openly about death and bereavement.

Funeral planning tips and tools

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Source: https://www.sunlife.co.uk/articles-guides/funeral-planning/what-do-you-say-when-someone-dies/

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